Ten Years After

This is still yesterday.

Back home, after my visit to my Dad, I went down to the lakeside beach, which is at walking distance from my house. I was wearing the short leather Pringle of Scotland skirt that I’m wearing on the photo in the previous post. It’s short but it was way too warm and tight for a hot early-summer’s day. It’s the kind of skirt that is best worn with pantyhose on colder days in the office. I honestly hadn’t realized this. I was unwillingly sexy and extremely uncomfortable.

I never know why I’m doing these kinds of walks. It seems to myself I’m looking for adventure, exposure, admiration, affirmation, opportunity… But nothing ever happens. Nothing has been happening since the time, ten years ago to the day, when death happened to my only love. Ah well. I’ve moved five times since that time. Since that time my children have gone to college and moved out. The dog has died, I nearly did. I nearly did a second time… My Mom has. The cats have been growing old and loveable. I resigned from a 15-year partnership. I gave up a well-paid consultant’s position at another firm… I wound up being a receptionist, a stewardess and promoting products in various supermarkets wearing a full-length bib apron, juggling all of those every single week, including weekends… As a receptionist I secretly drafted large commercial contracts for big corporate clients I led to believe I was still a fulltime lawyer with adequate professional liability insurance… I began investing in equity, fund shares, bonds and raw materials… I was hunted by a headhunter… I got hired by a tech company… I got appointed in its board… But that is all, really.

This is where I’m now. This is where one sees me parading aimlessly along a lakeside beach, uncomfortably in a short leather skirt, way too warm for a hot early-summer’s day in June, alone, clueless and frightened, facing away from the people I pass. This is pretty much what happened, this is where I’m at, since that time when death happened to my loved one. After all, it’s nothing that can’t be fitted into a few lines of a post in a blog hosted by WordPress.

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